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Am I Un-Date-Able, Unworthy Of Relationships???
Why is it that we are genetically programmed to want relationships? This causes depression, loneliness, sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness…This thought we have is the source of so much pain. I was sitting alone on my couch tonight watching love stories and thinking to myself…Awww that’s so beautiful…tears in my eyes…then shook my head and told myself…STOP IT!! That’s not real!!! DON’T BE THAT GIRL!!! You’re a professional you know BETTER!!!
Truth is I’m human…Not perfect! I’m single…I’m a strong, independent woman…I love myself. Do you ever have that moment when you’re completely happy with life…but you crave the attention, affection, or the touch of someone you’re attracted to? But is it that I want a relationship? Or is it that I want someone to be next to me?
I’ve had my experiences with relationships and they never really worked out for me. Men tend to try to control me with words or actions that will reject me or make me feel bad to gain power in the relationship…I’m aware that not all men are like that, but for some reason, I experience that quite frequently. I’m like a magnet for insecure or confused men. Or is it that I’m confused and insecure??? I’ve been told you attract what you give out…
I’ve attempted to form male friendships to see if that works any better than the “relationships”…maybe we can be on an equal playing ground? Maybe if I make it clear that I only want them as a friend they won’t get weird??? I’ve developed some friendships, but they aren’t consistent with wanting to connect with me because they aren’t on the same page. Their mindset is somewhere else…either what if there’s someone better, I wonder if that hot girl will have sex with me, or she’s going to kill my game if I can’t be around her…
I just want someone to talk to me sometimes, touch me and be close to me sometimes, travel with sometimes, go out to new places sometimes…because honestly, I’m good at doing all these things by myself, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone I like that’s the opposite sex around. Is that TOO MUCH to ask for? Am I being TOO PICKY?? Am I self Sabotaging???
Who knows…but that leaves me stuck in a dilemma. Men don’t want to date me or be my friend??? Do they not find me attractive? Am I not making myself available? Or is it that I intimidate them? Am I unapproachable? Am I not fun to be around? Am I boring?? I have no clue…but what’s a woman to do in this situation?? This is what I’ve come up with.
First of all, it has nothing to do with you: They don’t want to be around you because of an insecurity that they have. Or maybe they just aren’t into you?? I just remind myself that if they wanted to be with me, they would be with me, and they aren’t…so oh well…time to move on.
Put yourself out there: Join a dating site, go out and meet new people, and talk to people you don’t know. Form connections and build relationships. How do you expect to meet someone if you’re at home doing nothing and talking to your cat??
Be patient: Things will come along when they are supposed to. Until then get busy getting to know yourself, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Try not to fill your loneliness with the company of someone who doesn’t care about you. Call a good friend instead of calling that butthead that is never there for you and has made you cry. All that does is put a band-aid on your wound while the emotions cut it even deeper.
So what do I do in the meantime??? Stay busy, and set some life goals! Don’t overthink every little thing! Masturbate and touch yourself! Workout!!! Put yourself in the good company of POSITIVE people! Seek out a Counselor so you can learn more about yourself.
I had a client tell me the other day that they want to change themselves and understand themselves, so they will start attracting the right people!!! YES! That’s what it’s about change and positive thought. Things will start happening in your life when you least expect them…Karma, energy, and the stars must fall in line. You are NOT Un-DATE-Able!!